Why Do I Get Sleepy Around My Partner?

Romantic relationships, particularly the special ones, can be truly overwhelming. Their emotional toll, whether it be happiness, ecstasy, sadness, or stress, can be heavy and cause someone to feel tired and sleepy more than they normally would.

Feeling sleepy around your loved one is very normal, in the sense that most people feel that. This doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a good thing or a bad thing; it’s just common. Naturally, you may be wondering what it all means and whether it is something that needs to be dealt with.

In this article, we’ll explore this issue and the various reasons that might explain why you feel tired and sleepy around your loved one.

Is It Common To Feel Overly Tired Around Your Partner?

Relationships, healthy or not, take a lot of someone’s mind. This translates to both emotional and physical aspects. If you’re wondering why you feel tired around your significant other, you’re definitely not alone.

In truth, it’s very common to feel sleepy and even tired around your partner. Often this is simply because you are more happy and relaxed around them, and this feeling of relaxation tells your brain that it is OK to go to sleep.

Of course, you should be reflecting on how much this affects you. It usually starts with asking yourself questions to better assess the issue. Some such questions are:

Am I feeling drowsy more than usual?

Do I feel low energy all the time or just when I’m with my partner?

Do I feel merely tired and sleepy or completely exhausted and depleted?

When I am sleepy, do I feel comfortable and relaxed or sad and miserable?

What could directly cause me to feel tired and sleepy?

Am I deeply happy or unhappy when I’m with my partner?

What Does It Mean When You Feel Sleepy Around Someone?

There is a widely held belief that healthy relationships are meant to be easy, comforting, and relaxing. While this is usually true, feeling sleepy seems to go against that. Except, it really doesn’t.

Comfort and relaxation are actually immediate precursors to sleepiness. When you’re at ease and in love with your partner, your body releases feel good hormones, mainly dopamine and serotonin. The secretion of hormones can cause you to feel more tired and sleepy than normal, and you may even fall asleep faster.

This is the same reason why you sleep better at the beach, and also why fresh air makes you tired.

After all, your body is working, and a particular hormone can never be released all the time; your body will eventually have to balance things out. The frequent secretion and balancing of hormones can be quite tiring and emotionally draining at times.

On another note, a relationship can sometimes be tiring and stressful. When there are things to worry about, plans to carry out, and problems to solve, you’re never really at rest and you may struggle to feel secure. Your mind is constantly thinking and you may feel exhausted because of that. Again, this can be a normal thing; romantic partners do go through hardships, which doesn’t mean a relationship is going south, but it will affect your mental health.

A relationship can also be unhappy. In this case, tiredness and sleepiness can only accumulate over time because you’re probably not getting enough sleep.

The bottom line is that many reasons can contribute to feeling sleepy around your partner. The meaning of this will necessarily depend on your specific situation. Take some time to reflect on your relationship with a clear head, and you’ll easily figure out why being around your partner makes you feel this way.

Is It A Good Or Bad Thing To Fall Asleep Around Your Partner?

Our earlier explanations of what may cause you to feel tired around your significant other show that this can be good just like it can be bad. Here is how you can tell.

The Good

When you’re deeply in love with someone, it can be really overwhelming. You will constantly seek to make them happy because that’s how much they mean to you. You will often smile, laugh, buy presents, watch movies, kiss, hug, have intimacy, hold hands, go on dates, or play games. The abnormal thing here would be not to feel more tired and exhausted than usual.

Alternatively, you can be less wild and teen-spirited and still feel tired and sleepy. Even if you’re calm and you just feel safe, happy, comfortable, and relaxed around your loved one, this feeling of relaxation may not make you tired but can often cause you to get sleepy.

So, feeling sleepy around your partner may well be because you feel comfortable, safe or calm in their presence, just like it can be caused by the little sleep and fatigue you have because of the loads of fun and games you share with them.

When this begins to create problems outside your relationship—say you missed an important exam because you couldn’t get enough of your partner the previous night—you can just consider tuning down the ecstasy a little bit.

Read also: How to sleep in a twin bed with a partner

The Bad

Feeling more sleepy than usual when you’re with your partner can also be a negative thing. For instance, if you feel bored, this can lead to tiredness. A relationship can go through a stagnant phase where not much is going on. Days are repeating and routine is boring you out of your mind, so it’s not wonder you find yourself falling asleep.

On the other hand, you or your partner may be going through some difficult times. When someone feels stressed or sad about something, the feelings will more often than not be mutual. Stress can be very exhausting, both physically and mentally.

This doesn’t mean that you no longer love your partner; it just happens. It’s important that you deal with this and reflect on what exactly you can do to change the situation.

Keep in mind that this can be caused by many different factors such as relationship, work, financial, family, or personal problems.

Figuring out the true reason behind your fatigue and communicating with your partner is the best possible reasoning to making changes if you want to restore your well-being as well as your partner’s and feel happy again around your partner.

Read also: Why can’t I sleep without my partner?

The Ugly

A relationship can also be unhealthy and toxic to a point that feelings of exhaustion and misery are the only natural outcome. The emotional and physical damage of such relationships can be utterly destructive.

To add salt to injury, the situation can be very complicated that simply getting out of the relationship just because you stop feeling interested is not that simple; it may lead to more anxiety, depression, and emptiness.

Faced with this misfortune, it’s self-evident that your brain will be overworked- you’ll feel tired, even depleted, all of the time. Sleeping is the common escape for most people in this case.

The best piece of advice that can lead to the happiest possible outcome is that you communicate with your partner and, together, figure your way out of this hellhole. You can also seek couple counseling.

If the dimmest of lights is visible at the end of the tunnel, all you can do is cling to it and do your best to resolve the issue.

Only you, and hopefully your partner, can say if such a relationship can actually be fixed. To find that out, mutual compassion, understanding, and healthy communication are the only viable solution. Bear in mind that it takes two, not one, to reach that.

Read also: Why does sleeping feel so good?

The Role of Oxytocin in Feeling Sleepy Around Someone You Love

Oxytocin is a hormone and neurotransmitter that plays a crucial role in social bonding, trust, and feelings of love. It is often referred to as the “love hormone” or “cuddle hormone.” When you’re around someone you love or feel close to, your brain releases oxytocin, leading to feelings of warmth, happiness, and relaxation. This increased oxytocin level also contributes to the sleepiness you experience around your loved one. Let’s delve deeper into the emotional factors that cause this drowsiness.

Emotional Factors

Happiness and Comfort:

When you’re with your partner, you feel happy and comfortable. Oxytocin release is associated with happiness, which in turn, promotes relaxation and a sense of security. This combination of happiness and comfort leads to a natural inclination to feel sleepy, as your body and mind enter a more restful state.

Safety and Security:

Being around someone you love and trust fosters feelings of safety and security. These feelings help reduce stress and anxiety, allowing your body to enter a more relaxed state, ultimately leading to sleepiness.

Physical Closeness

Touch and Affection:

Physical touch, such as cuddling, hugging, or holding hands, can also increase oxytocin levels, resulting in feelings of calmness and drowsiness. Touch is a powerful way to communicate love and strengthen the emotional bond between two people, and feeling sleepy is a natural outcome of this connection.

Synchronization of Heart Rate and Breathing:

When you’re in love or emotionally connected to someone, your heart rate and breathing patterns can become synchronized. This physiological connection creates a sense of harmony and comfort, which may contribute to the sleepy feeling you experience around your partner.

The Benefits of Feeling Sleepy Around Your Loved One

Strengthening Relationships:

Feeling sleepy around your partner is a sign of a healthy and strong emotional connection. It indicates that you trust and feel safe around them, which are essential components of a successful relationship.

Stress Reduction:

The drowsiness you experience around your loved one is a manifestation of your body’s natural stress-reduction mechanisms. As oxytocin levels increase, your body is better able to cope with stress, anxiety, and pain. This not only promotes overall well-being but also contributes to a happier and more stable relationship.

Improved Communication:

When you feel sleepy and relaxed around your partner, it can lead to more open and honest communication. This vulnerability and openness help strengthen the emotional connection and trust between you and your significant other.

Enhanced Sleep Quality:

Feeling sleepy around your loved one can also lead to better sleep quality when you share a bed. As you feel safe, secure, and relaxed, you’re more likely to fall asleep faster and experience deeper, more restorative sleep.

FAQs on Why You Feel Sleepy Around Someone You Love:

Why Do I Feel Sleepy Around My Boyfriend?

Women produce significantly more oxytocin than men do, which can lead to feelings of relaxation and drowsiness when in close proximity with their partner. Additionally, your boyfriend’s presence likely makes you feel safe and secure, reducing any stress or tension that may be impeding your sleep.

Why Do I Feel Sleepy When I’m With My Girlfriend?

You likely feel sleepy when you’re with your girlfriend because of the oxytocin that is released when you are physically close to one another. Oxytocin helps promote relaxation and feelings of safety, which can make it easier for you to fall asleep.

Why Do I Feel Tired After Kissing My Partner?

Kissing releases oxytocin, which can cause you to feel tired or sleepy. Additionally, when you are intimate with your partner, the endorphins that are released promote relaxation and can lead to a deeper sleep. Therefore, it is normal to feel sleepy after kissing or being intimate with your partner.

Final Thoughts on Why Do I Get Sleepy Around My Partner?

We’ve seen how common it is to feel sleepier than usual when you’re around your partner. This can be traced to many different causes. The simplest way to explain it, is the body releases hormones at times of extreme joy or sadness.

Both happy and unhappy relationships can lead to sensations of tiredness and sleepiness, with some situations requiring more actions than others. How much you can live with this is up to both of you to decide.

You can be perfectly happy with feeling sleepy around your partner, or you can seek to change that if it affects other aspects of your life. Either way, you always have many options to deal with this.