Sleep Hygiene for Couples: Tips for Creating a Healthy Sleep Environment Together

A good night’s sleep is essential for our overall well-being, and maintaining healthy sleep hygiene is crucial to achieving quality rest. However, when you’re sharing a bed with your partner, it can be challenging to create an environment that caters to both of your sleep preferences and needs. This blog post will provide tips for couples looking to improve their sleep hygiene and create a healthy sleep environment together. By working collaboratively and prioritizing sleep, couples can foster a strong, harmonious relationship and enjoy the benefits of restorative rest.

Identifying Individual Sleep Preferences

Everyone is unique, and that includes how we sleep. To create a restful sleep environment for both parties, it’s important to understand your individual sleep preferences. Here are some tips for identifying your own sleep habits and needs:

Assess Your Optimal Sleep Duration

How much sleep do you need each night? The recommended amount of sleep for adults is between 7-9 hours, but this can vary depending on individual factors such as age, lifestyle and health. Pay attention to how many hours of sleep you need to feel rested the next day to determine your ideal sleeping duration.

Making sure that you both get enough sleep is fundamental to your sleep health. Remember that you both need around seven to eight hours sleep in order to be healthy, and poor sleep quality is likely to have a detrimental effect on your relationship. Sleep deprivation effects health, mood and focus, so if one or both of you aren’t getting a good night’s rest then your relationship is likely to suffer.

Read also: Why do you get tired around someone you love?

Understand Your Preferred Sleep Environment

Think about what kind of environment helps you fall asleep and stay asleep. This may include details such as room temperature, lighting, bedding, noise levels and other factors that contribute to overall comfort while sleeping. Experiment with different conditions to find out which ones suit your individual needs best.

Pay Attention To Bedtime Rituals

Bedtime rituals can have a big impact on how well you sleep at night. Evaluate your current routine – when do you go to bed? Do you take any supplements or medicines before sleeping? Are there particular activities or books that help you relax before bed? Consider how these habits influence your quality of sleep and make adjustments if necessary.

Listen To Your Body

Finally, pay attention to signals from your body throughout the day – are there signs of fatigue mid-afternoon or just before bed? Is there anything else that affects your level of energy during the day? These subtle cues can be useful in adjusting and improving your personal sleep patterns over time.

sleep hygiene for couples
sleep hygiene for couples

Communicating Sleep Preferences with Your Partner

Sleep is an essential part of our lives and it’s important to ensure that both you and your partner get enough rest. But how do you go about communicating your sleep preferences to your partner?

Here are some tips for successful communication on this subject:

Talk Openly:

Open up a dialogue about each other’s sleep preferences. Discuss the differences in schedules, bedtimes and any special needs or challenges surrounding sleep. Show understanding and empathy in listening to one another’s needs and motivate each other to make changes if necessary.

Honor Each Other’s Preferences:

Respect each other’s preferences when it comes to sleep. Acknowledge the importance of getting enough rest and work together to come up with solutions that accommodate both of your needs.

Establish Ground Rules:

Set boundaries on sleeping habits, such as turning off electronics at least one hour before sleep, keeping the bedroom environment comfortable by maintaining a consistent temperature, etc. Establish what works best for the two of you whenever possible.

Find Common Ground:

Look for areas of compatibility in order to take advantage of those common interests in terms of bedtime routines, schedules and whatever else might be relevant for creating a harmonious environment for sleep and maintaining healthy sleep habits.

Seek Professional Help If Necessary:

If you can’t seem to find a satisfactory resolution on your own, talking with a professional counselor or therapist may help uncover deeper underlying issues or offer constructive advice.

With open communication and understanding, we can create better sleeping patterns that keep us rested and refreshed each day!

Read also: Why can’t I sleep without my partner?

Creating a Comfortable Sleep Environment

A comfortable sleep environment is crucial for promoting restful sleep. Consider the following factors when creating a space that caters to both partners’ preferences and needs.

Choosing the Right Mattress and Pillows

Balancing comfort and support:

A high-quality mattress that provides both comfort and support is essential for a good night’s sleep. Test out different mattress options together to find one that suits both partners’ needs. Additionally, choose pillows that provide the right level of support for each person’s preferred sleeping position.

Accommodating individual preferences and needs:

If one partner prefers a firmer mattress while the other prefers a softer one, consider a mattress with customizable firmness levels or using a mattress topper to adjust the comfort level for each side of the bed.

Adjusting Bedroom Temperature and Lighting

Maintaining a cool and dark environment: A slightly cool room temperature (around 65°F or 18°C is the optimal temperature) and a dark environment can help promote restful sleep. Use a programmable thermostat to maintain a consistent temperature and blackout curtains or shades to block outside light. If one of you finds it difficult to sleep without some light, and the other needs complete darkness, use a sleep mask as a sleep aid.

Read also: Do sleep masks damage eyes?

Utilizing temperature-regulating bedding: To accommodate individual temperature preferences, consider using separate blankets or temperature-regulating bedding materials, such as moisture-wicking or cooling sheets.

Read also: Are bamboo sheets cooling?

Establishing a Relaxing Bedtime Routine

Developing a consistent sleep schedule and engaging in calming pre-sleep activities can help signal to your body that it’s time to wind down and prepare for rest.

Developing a Consistent Sleep Schedule

Going to bed and waking up at the same time each day:

Establishing a regular sleep schedule, even on weekends and holidays, helps regulate your body’s internal clock and improves sleep quality. Falling asleep at the same time each evening and waking up at the same time each morning is essential for good sleep hygiene. Work together to find a sleep schedule that suits both partners’ lifestyles and preferences.

It’s also a great idea to set aside some time to cuddle before sleep, as this can help your body feel tired by releasing oxytocin and other stress-reducing hormones.

Prioritizing sleep during periods of stress or busy schedules:

Recognize the importance of sleep for maintaining physical and emotional health, and make it a priority even when life gets hectic. Encourage each other to stick to your sleep schedules and sleep hygiene practices, and create a supportive environment for rest.

Engaging in Calming Pre-Sleep Activities

Wind Down Before Bed:

An hour or two before bed, start to wind down by engaging in activities that will help you relax and prepare for rest. Reading, journaling, meditation, stretching, or taking a hot bath or shower are all calming pre-sleep activities that can help signal to your body that it’s time to rest.

Avoid Stimulating Activities:

Avoid activities such as watching TV or using electronic devices like phones and computers in the hours leading up to bedtime. The light from these devices can be stimulating and make it harder for you to fall asleep. If you must use them, try using blue light-blocking glasses or apps like Night Shift on Apple devices which reduce the blue light exposure from screens. 

Read also: Is it bad to have a TV in my bedroom?

Create A Sleep Sanctuary:

Designate your bedroom as an environment specifically made for sleeping – free of clutter and noise. Make sure the room is comfortable with the right temperature, lighting and type of mattress that suits both partners’ needs.

Read also: Is it bad to sleep with the window open?

Get organized:

Taking time at night to organize your thoughts about what needs to be done tomorrow can help alleviate anxieties about upcoming tasks that might interfere with sleep. This could include creating a list of tasks for the next day, setting an alarm for morning activities, or laying out clothes for the morning. 

Managing Noise and Distractions

Reducing noise and distractions in the bedroom can help create a more conducive environment for sleep. Consider the following strategies to minimize disruptions and promote restful sleep for both partners.

Reducing External Noise

  1. Using white noise machines or earplugs: If you or your partner is sensitive to noise, consider using a white noise machine or wearing earplugs to block out external sounds. White noise can help drown out distracting noises, such as traffic or a partner’s snoring.
  2. Soundproofing the bedroom if necessary: If external noise is a significant issue, consider investing in soundproofing solutions, such as acoustic panels, weatherstripping, or heavy curtains, to create a quieter sleep environment.

Limiting In-Bed Activities

  1. Reserving the bed for sleep and intimacy only: Associating your bed with sleep and intimacy can help train your brain to recognize it as a place for rest and relaxation. Avoid using the bed for activities such as work, watching television, or eating.
  2. Creating designated spaces for work, hobbies, or entertainment: Designate separate areas in your home for activities that may interfere with sleep, such as working, engaging in hobbies, or watching TV. This can help reinforce the association between the bedroom and rest.

Addressing Sleep Disturbances and Disorders

If one or both partners experience sleep disturbances or disorders, it’s essential to address these issues to promote healthy sleep for both individuals.

Supporting a Partner with Snoring or Sleep Apnea

  1. Encouraging medical evaluation and treatment: If your partner snores or experiences symptoms of sleep apnea, such as gasping for air during sleep or excessive daytime sleepiness, encourage them to seek medical evaluation and treatment.
  2. Experimenting with anti-snore pillows or positional therapy: To alleviate snoring, consider trying anti-snore pillows or positional therapy, such as sleeping on one’s side or using a wedge pillow to elevate the upper body.
  1. Seeking professional guidance from a sleep specialist: If either partner suffers from insomnia or another sleep disorder, consult with a sleep specialist for a thorough evaluation and personalized treatment plan.
  2. Implementing recommended treatments and lifestyle changes: Follow the advice of healthcare professionals and make any necessary lifestyle changes to improve sleep quality, such as adjusting sleep schedules, creating a relaxing bedtime routine, or managing stress.

Balancing Individual Sleep Needs with Shared Intimacy

While prioritizing sleep is essential, it’s also crucial to maintain emotional and physical connections with your partner.

Maintaining Emotional and Physical Connection

Prioritizing quality time and communication during waking hours:

Ensure that you spend quality time together during your waking hours, engaging in activities that promote emotional and physical closeness.

Engaging in shared relaxation techniques or pillow talk before sleep:

Incorporate shared relaxation techniques, such as gentle massages, cuddling, or pillow talk, into your bedtime routine to foster intimacy while still preparing for rest. This can help maintain a strong emotional connection while also promoting relaxation and sleep readiness.

Adapting Sleep Habits and Routines as the Relationship Evolves

Revisit Your Sleep Preferences and Needs Periodically:

As individual circumstances change, it’s important to revisit your sleep preferences and needs on a regular basis. Make sure to discuss any changes in work schedules, health issues, living arrangements or other life events that could be impacting either partner’s sleeping habits and come up with solutions together. 

Analyze Your Circumstances:

Examine your current situation and identify any changes that may be impacting your sleep habits. This could include alterations in work schedules, health issues or lifestyle changes such as moving into a new home. 

Discuss Your Needs:

Talk openly with your partner about what you need to get a good night’s sleep and make sure they understand your preferences. When discussing, focus on finding solutions together rather than assigning blame or being overly critical of one another.

Make Adjustments:

Once you have identified the areas of improvement, make the necessary adjustments together in order to maintain a healthy sleep environment for both partners. This could involve re-arranging the bedroom or bedding, using white noise machines or blackout curtains to block out external noise or light sources, or setting designated times for winding down before bedtime. 

Establish a Routine:

Establishing consistent routines can help couples transition from wakefulness to sleep easier and faster. Set regular bedtimes, avoid screens at least an hour before going to bed, and use relaxation techniques like yoga or breathing exercises before turning off the lights and dim lighting throughout the evening. 

Prioritize Quality Sleep:

It goes without saying that prioritizing quality sleep should always take precedence when adapting your sleep habits as the relationship evolves. Make sure both partners are getting adequate amounts of restful sleep or seeking professional help if needed – this will benefit not only the relationship but also your physical and mental health in the long run.

By taking the time to discuss needs and make adjustments as needed, couples can ensure they get adequate rest each night which will lead to better communication and more positive relationships overall!


Prioritizing sleep hygiene and creating a healthy sleep environment together can significantly impact the quality of your rest and the satisfaction of your relationship. By identifying individual sleep preferences, working collaboratively to establish a comfortable and conducive sleep environment, and maintaining a balance between individual sleep needs and shared intimacy, couples can foster a strong, harmonious relationship built on the foundation of restorative rest.

Remember, communication is key when it comes to addressing sleep preferences and challenges. Keep an open dialogue with your partner and work together to create a sleep environment that caters to both of your needs. By prioritizing sleep and supporting each other, you can enjoy the benefits of a well-rested life and a thriving relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can we better synchronize our sleep schedules if one partner is a night owl and the other is an early bird?

  1. Compromise: Find a middle ground by adjusting bedtime and wake-up times to accommodate both partners’ preferences. This may involve shifting your schedules slightly to overlap more and allow for shared sleep time.
  2. Create individual wind-down routines: Encourage each partner to engage in their own relaxing pre-sleep activities to help signal to their body that it’s time to wind down.
  3. Establish separate spaces: If necessary, create separate spaces within the bedroom or home where each partner can unwind and relax before joining the other in bed.

How can we handle a partner’s restless leg syndrome or other sleep-related movement disorders?

  1. Seek medical advice: Consult with a healthcare professional for a thorough evaluation and personalized treatment plan.
  2. Implement recommended treatments and lifestyle changes: Follow medical advice and make necessary lifestyle changes, such as adjusting sleep schedules, creating a relaxing bedtime routine, or managing stress.
  3. Consider separate beds or bedding: If the disorder significantly disrupts the other partner’s sleep, consider using separate beds or bedding to minimize sleep disturbances.

What if my partner and I have different preferences for noise levels while sleeping (e.g., one prefers silence and the other needs background noise)?

  1. Compromise on noise levels: Find a middle ground by adjusting the volume of background noise to a level that both partners find tolerable.
  2. Use headphones or earplugs: If one partner prefers complete silence, they can use earplugs or noise-canceling headphones to block out background noise. Alternatively, the partner who prefers background noise can use headphones to listen to their preferred sounds without disturbing the other.
  3. Experiment with different types of sounds: Try different types of background noise, such as white noise, nature sounds, or calming music, to find a sound that both partners find soothing and conducive to sleep.

Read also: Is it OK to sleep with airpods in?

Read also: What to listen to while sleeping.

How can we maintain a healthy sleep environment if we have a pet that sleeps in our bedroom?

  1. Establish boundaries: Set clear boundaries for your pet, such as not allowing them on the bed or designating a specific sleeping area for them within the bedroom.
  2. Maintain a clean sleep environment: Regularly clean your pet’s bedding and groom your pet to minimize allergens and maintain a clean sleep environment.
  3. Address potential sleep disruptions: If your pet’s presence or behavior disrupts your sleep, consider implementing changes, such as crate training or creating a separate sleeping area for your pet outside of the bedroom.

How can we manage different sleep needs during pregnancy?

  1. Adjust sleep positions and bedding: Pregnant individuals may need to adjust their sleep positions for comfort, often sleeping on their side with additional pillows for support. Accommodate these changes by providing extra pillows and adjusting bedding as needed.
  2. Be patient and flexible: Understand that sleep needs and preferences may change during pregnancy, and be prepared to make adjustments to your sleep environment and routines as needed.
  3. Prioritize rest and relaxation: Encourage relaxation and restful sleep by engaging in calming pre-sleep activities, such as reading, meditating, or gentle massages.

How can we create a healthy sleep environment if we have limited space or live in a studio apartment?

  1. Create designated sleep and relaxation zones: Even in a small space, designate specific areas for sleep and relaxation, separating them from areas for work, hobbies, or entertainment.
  2. Maximize the use of space: Optimize your living space by utilizing multifunctional furniture, such as a bed with storage compartments, or using vertical storage solutions to keep your sleeping area clutter-free and conducive to relaxation.
  3. Minimize noise and distractions: Use white noise machines, soundproofing solutions, or earplugs to reduce noise levels in your living space and promote a more peaceful sleep environment.

How can we address different sleep needs when one partner works night shifts?

  1. Establish a consistent sleep schedule: Encourage the partner working night shifts to maintain a consistent sleep schedule, even on days off, to help regulate their internal clock and improve sleep quality.
  2. Create a sleep-conducive environment during the day: Invest in blackout curtains or shades and use white noise machines or earplugs to create a dark, quiet environment for daytime sleep.
  3. Be respectful of each other’s sleep needs: Understand that both partners require restful sleep, and be respectful of each other’s schedules and needs. This may involve minimizing noise and distractions during the daytime when the night shift partner is sleeping.

By addressing these common concerns and challenges, couples can work together to create a healthy sleep environment that accommodates their unique needs and preferences. Open communication, flexibility, and a commitment to prioritizing sleep can help couples navigate these issues and maintain a strong, harmonious relationship built on the foundation of restorative rest.